Filed under: food, growing up | Tags: all clad, cheese, dogs, health, ming tsai, nuts, tomatoes, weight, wine
There’s a recommended daily allowance of nuts? Nuts can be part of a healthy diet?!
I like to eat honey roasted peanuts as a healthy snack. I am your recommended daily allowance of nuts. I am getting fat. I don’t want to be an adult anymore.
I want to be a farmer. A dog farmer. A farmer of dogs. Not for eatin, but for lovin.
Here is what I want to know. Wine is good for your heart, right? So if I eat a brick of cheese with a bottle of wine, do they cancel each other out?
Chef hats are ridiculous. They look like fire hazards.
Mmm crème brulee.
Ford Expeditions are ridiculous. I don’t care how many kids you have.
I knew I had to drive home but I felt stupid not having a drink.
Living a fast life doesn’t mean you have to settle for fast food.
All Clad is a state of mind.
Ming Tsai is sexy. I want him to teach me how to play golf.
Sleeping dog makes me happy. Makes me sing. Wakes him up.
Salmon, shallots, tarragon, seasalt. Edamames, olive oil.
Should I tell him I’m pregnant? Just kidding.
We open a door to the tomato. The tomato shows us its’ secret.
I was trying to flirt with him, so I told him his legs were too fat. I’m not smooth, I’m not a smooth person at all. I thought it would be a silly thing to say. Apparently I hit a soft spot. SO, he slept on the sofa. He didn’t kiss me goodbye this morning. He didn’t respond to my text message that said “love.”
When I was 6, I pushed a boy off the swingset because I had a crush on him.
When I was 10, I threw a rock at a boy because I had a crush on him. It hit him in the eye.
When I was 23 I called a boy fat because I had a crush on him.
Ming just called the gazpacho sexy. Oh my god.
Fat fat fat. Fat fat fat. We’re all gonna get fat, we’re all gonna die.
Go exercise. Go do some situps. Go do some squats. Fatty.
My stream of consciousness is immature.
